Anyhow

I realised I got trauma for a lot things. Guys, colour of food, church...etc...

...I guessed, I was very hard for myself since young thats why it develop to who I am now.
I experience a lot of things kids shouldn't have. And to mature on my own without adult guidance was one of the hardest thing. The world felt so dark and cold.

There were so many things that I don't understand. I didn't know what I was doing was right or wrong as a child. I relied on my instincts most of the time, but my instincts often fight with my sensibility. There was no one to teach me. No one to tell me.

But I guess, I am better now. Looking back, I always cry myself to sleep when I was young especially when I was Primary 6.

NOW...this is stupid. There are so many medication that I have to take which makes me look like I am going to commit suicide instead of getting better. This is so DUMB!!!! I don't even remember receiving so much medication when I was younger!!!! How on earth does my body even assimilate all of them?...

Anyway...today is just crazy. I keep meeting the person I like...The person I wished I could see every single day....Like what they say...be careful of what you wished for. First time was really awesome...then with each time..it progressed to be really awkward....

He went for class and he was sitting sideways through the glass door....I couldn't stop my eyes from straying to him time to time....The best part? He kept staring at me!!!! I couldn't help blushing and stop looking at him. But every time I look back...he was still staring..

I shall pretend its my imagination and don't let my heart hope too much...><....jeez!!!!Irritating.......why is love so hard? I don't like it when my logical sensible self turn into a stupid fool because of this!!!