Being an "Adult"

I am finally here.

Miles away from home.

The scary thing is my brain knows this fact but my heart doesn't process it.
I think I am crazy when I make the decision to come here, I know that great things only come out through crazy decision. I know that its only hard in the beginning.

I KNOW.

It just easy to know yet hard to master those wise words.

It hard remembering thats it worth what I give up for when I stare at this empty quiet freezing room with nothing familiar in it. I had to grow up. I can't continue this "adulting" pharse. I need to be the adult.

An adult solve their own problem
because they are old enough to.
An adult does everything by herself
because they are old enough to.
An adult doesn't cry or throw tantrum
because they are old enough not to.
An adult socialise with other adult
because they are adults.

But because they are adults,
they forgotten what it is like to be a child.
The child in them lays dormant
because they need to grow up.
The child in them sometimes cry to sleep too.
The child in them sometimes feels lonely and wants a hug.
The child in them is calling for help.
But because they are adults,
they put on a brave front, hide their child in them
and face the world.
Not because they are old enough to.
Not because they are adults.
But because if they don't adult enough to face the world,
they are scared the world they work so hard for, will just fall apart.

The Blues

There is no one likely to read this, not even my friends since all their blog have been declared dead. So if you are, let this just be a secret between the two of us. No one else will know but then again there isn't anyone to know.

I am going to school tomorrow.
A new school is a new place in a new country.
I thought the most difficult part of the journey is all the paperwork and payment to get me there. I totally overestimated it.

The hardest part is being all alone in a foreign country.
You are all alone. There is nothing familiar about this place. Everything is new, jumping out in your face and all your 5 senses get overwhelm. Sensory Overload.

The worst part is at random times, certain things make suddenly hit you with a wave of homesickness. Makes you question what heck are you doing here. Makes you wonder why did you put in so much effort to kick yourself out of the place you called home. ;_;

To my mummy, daddy and bro,

If you ever stumble or find out about this blog, please know that there is something I regret not doing when we said our farewells.

I forget to tell you "I love you."

I hope for now, you don't find out about this blog. I don't want you to worry or know that I am having homesickness. I want you to know that I am happy, well and still trying to settled down.