Things about my school life....

Ever since I entered poly....what can I say?

Well..One thing for sure is that I have changed. Even if it is not that drastic.

It anything, I think I became more emo ;( So xian!!!! I hate that kind of heavy feeling that keeps becoming dead weight that drag my footing.

I become less trusting. I dislike like it A LOT. With my nature, I find it hard to trust in people already, thanks for totally ruling out every single classmate except for 1 or 2? I didn't really hear of anyone getting backstab but there can be a little drama every now and then.

Heck. I was part of it last year- had to learn the hard way that "lines exist for a reason- to protect yourself. I should have believe in myself but when you have to keep putting up walls..it becomes very tiring. Like you need to keep doing back up plan just in case someone try to do something bad to you.

Just yesterday, I walked into my group mates gossiping about me- most likely talking bad. Lets face it- they are talking bad about me. I wasn't surprised- only surprised that I didn't encounter this kind of things sooner. I mean, hey?! No one is a saint. I, myself even do this kind of thing. The whole class does it. If that person just now was absent- they, including me, would be talking bad about the person. So ya. I expected it.

Bad points about me:
I keep complaining. (True, I need to learn to stop that).
I sound whiny. =_= (Sorry that I sound that way but I can't change my voice)
I panic too easily (This one is hard, time management isn't as easy as you think it is)
I am a tad too sensitive at times (Personal reasons- well I am good at acting like I don't care)
I am bossy (I am working on this one alr, changing my tone and all)
I am slow in understanding (I can't change this, ok. I am not a com that can be upgraded. >:P)

I am trying to change. and hopefully become a better person. But when I become tired or moody, I tend to lose control. If work is going to be school life times 2......I wonder how am I going to survive this.

Reality sucks as per normal. "Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power. Innocence once lost, you can't give it back. The best part is you never realised that you have been walking around with a blindfold, thinking you are in a wonderful dream. Till someone rip it off and show you the ugly side of reality.

Still so young and I already feel old. Grown up. Had the world always been like this? Without me knowing? Game of survival. The strongest wins. Gotta keep surviving. Sink or swim. I definitely am not willing to let go now.