Losing Grip

It was like everything went out of control,
my normal daily routines got thrown of place.
Just when I had got a hang of things,
another huge wave of problems crashed into me.
Being rushed in and out of places,
I dun think I even know what's going on anymore.
Its like I was losing grip on everthing,
But haven't I experience this before?
Then why do I not feel anymore prepared that the first time?
I feel like a lost little kid who needs protection.
Everything is slipping away,
and its really exhausting trying trying to keep hold of everthing.
Maybe its better to let go,
but I am scared.
What if the fall is greater than expected?or softer?
                    I can't decide.
Why it is that even after so many things and so long,
I still can't find a place i can call home?