Twisted Love

What does loving a person truly mean? 

Why is it when you say you love someone,

you end up hurting them instead?

Is that what love is?

to make them cry?

to hurt them?

to break their spirit?

If that is love

then people are better off without it,

isn't it?

Hurting other people, 

hurting yourself.

When will this end?

can you tell me?

Isn't it tiring?

isn't it saddening?

if that is what this so-called love is,

then it is better off not experiencing it 

If this is love,

lets break it off.

If this is love,

lets let go of it.

If this is love, 

I am going off.

If this is love,

I don't need it.

Loneliness would be a better company.

Kanda Yuu and Mana

I want to cry. How? How did it end up like this?All they wanted was to be with each other. So near each other, but like blinded people, they could never feel each other.

He wanted her, but he don't know who she was. As an experiment, they wiped out his memory in order to create a stronger human machine out of him. But slowly he recall "her", memories of her and lilies keep coming back. Especially the promise. The promise to come again to see the lilies again. Together. Why? How is it that not even knowing how that person clearly looks like or even her name, that the yearning to see her is so strong?

She always wanted him by her side, but never willing to show him who she truly am. Even becoming a monster to murder him that way, he would forever be hers. Forever be bound to her promise.

So they fight. Fought each other to death. Him, to escape reality/pain. Her, to conceal the truth. 

Allen yelled: "Do you think that death can end everything?! Look at her face! Why is her face like that? Can't you see? Why can't you face a woman who was willing to sacrifice even her hatred for the sector just to be with you?!"

Yuu shouted: "Shut up! who do you think you are? How can a person like you ever understand my suffering?"

With that he stabbed Allen in the stomach, just to be stunned by the fact that he just killed his close friend. This incident caused him to finally clear his rage and to for once, finally, clearly see her face.
                                                            Her crying face. 

Allen asked weakly:"Why Kanda? Why is she crying? Can you figure that out because I really don't understand?" With that, he smiled weakly and pulled himself out from Yuu's sword and tumbled to the ground.

                                          Yuu is the only one who can save her. 

Her, No!!!He must never find out! And she set off a bomb, exploding herself with Yuu.
"Nooooooooo!!!" Allen shouted,as he saw the explosion happened before his eyes. Quickly, he dashed towards them. "Why? Kanda didn't even get a chance to say what he wants! This is unfair! Why?!", Allen cried out. Tears flowing non-stop from his heartache.

"Yuu....Where is he?" as Mana crawled slowly blindly in search of Yuu. Crying, "why can't I find him? I don't want to lose him!" She cried out. I want to by his side but knowing who I am is unacceptable. I want him to forever be bound to that promise, I want him to keep looking for me! I want him to search for me forever so that he will always keep looking for me, always and forever be mine. And mine alone.

Allen stood up and carried what is left of her body, saying :"He is over there. I will carry you there."
Crying, she replied:" you are a very kind person."

As Allen was about to lay her next to him. Black mass consumed her and transform her into a monster again. Growing and growing to a taller height ready for the final self-destruction.

"Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!", The monster king laughed at the sweet torture and revenge on the two lovers.

Then Allen used his powers to tied up the monster king to prevent further intervention and threw Kanda towards Mana. "Thank you, Allen Walker", calling his name for the first time as he rush to catch Mana.

                                                                            *Her*
     I was crying in the dark. Then all of the sudden, I heard Yuu's voice coming from the sky.

Yuu rushed towards to embrace her and said, "Lets go together to a place where there are no exorcist or monsters and experiments, there will surely be a place like that that exist."
Mana cried out, "of course I will go with you,  you stupid!", tears of joy spilling from her eyes.

             Holding each other in their arms as they disappeared into a world of their own.
            
                                                              *End*


This story originates from a comic book named "D-Gray Man", in book 19-21. You should go read it, it was so touching that I nearly cried. I wrote it out so that it would only be focus on their love story and will be easier to understand. I DON'T OWN this manga or book!And I don't know if doing this is illegal or not, if it is, please tell me and I will have it taken down. If not, please ENJOY!^^

Got to let you go

Gripping on to her hand tightly as the machine beeps at the background, each heart beat meant that she was alive for another minute. Brushing a stray hair off her pale face, I was holding her to my lips, praying so hard that she will live. I am never the person to cry easily as tears are sign of weaknesses and any sign of weakness can get you kill easily. But tonight the tears couldn't help but keep flowing down my face, the monitor can barely register her weak heartbeat. Even the most expert doctors say that they can't do anything, its all up to her now to fight for her life.
                            If......if...if she can live through this.... I will let her go...
Despite this guilty conscience, I still tear apart her wings and cage her so that she will belong only, solely to me. She will only smile and sing for me and me alone. I don't want to set her free because she is my only source of light in my darkness, her smiles, her laugh, the flowery smell of hers... It would break my heart to set her free, but this can't go on anymore. How many of those innocent smiles of her do I have to take away from her before it is enough? How much more of her do I have to taint before she break down? This have to end. I will end all of this when she wakes up. I will set this precious little bird free.

How can she be so silly!? Knowing that the cup of wine consist of poison, yet she drank it for me. Despite all that I have done to her..she still cares for me. How can I still be so selfish and trap her after everything that she have sacrifice for me. Its been three days already that she had been drifting between life and death.

  "So little bird, hurry wake up...You can go back to the blue sky that you belong once again", I said gently, holding on to her hand. So desperately wishing that she would just suddenly wake up and smile that sweet smile of hers to me again.

   All of the sudden, her fingers start twitching. And slowly she opened her eyes and wearily looked towards me, asking hoarsely "are you the one who have been calling me?". My heart nearly skipped a beat.


TO BE CONTINUED.........

Star

Like a star, you are hard to catch.
Like a star, away from us, you are hard to reach.
Like a star, you are above all of us, hard to grasp.

Like a star, I can only worship you from far
Like a star, near enough for me to see but too far for me to touch
Like a star, I can only wonder what you are like, your world, your life, your likes

Like a star, this feelings forever remain as a secret
Like a star, it was more than enough for me to see you from far
Like a star, you shine so brightly, standing out from everyone. Making it so clear that it was beyond my reach to have you but making me cry at the same time from the way you shine so beautifully.

Like star, you capture all of me, making it impossible to notice anyone but You.

A little not over you

Just to let you know.
I wrote something today. But I deleted it cause I like it to be my personal secret. To all the readers of my blog, (which is like one or two?) I really wish that you all may achieve happiness. Stay happy. ^V^
In times of trouble, remember, As long as you are alive, there is HOPE...
Death doesn't solve anything. You wouldn't want to end your life unhappily and make your family suffer, don't you? I don't care! Just grab your phone and call someone for help!You are not a weakling just cause you ask someone for help, you are Brave because you got enough courage to ask that person for help. Remember that not only others need your comfort and help, you also need it! Don't pretend that its okay and you are happy just long as other people are happy! I will really beat you like crazy for making me cry, because you need to take care of yourself more. Rmb, you are human too. You need the care and comfort like other people even if you don't realise it.

Kite

Kite flying and Flying, not landing for even one moment. Trying to search for that special place or special mate where it can feel belonged and belong to it.
Kite not stopping for moment even in the toughest rain and storm. Trying to keep searching and searching and searching.
Kite losing hope but not giving up because kite keeps believe that it exists, that it will find it. Definitely. One day.
Kite losing speed, choking up a silent cry, wanting to break and fall from the pressure and obstacles.
Kite gaining hope and strength, continues on with journey. Believing one day, that day will finally come when it can finally rest.
Kite all alone, scared and confused, not knowing where to go, without destination in mind. Flying around in circles.
Kite wanting to give up but..........it know it can't. It know that it can. Definitely. It keep believing because if it don't, it will die.
Kite staying strong despite being so tired and exhausted...but still moving on
Kite moving on and on, when will it happen? When will that day come?Moving on