You can be anything you want.No one is limited by other people, only you can limit yourself. Everyone have an awesome potential, it only depends if you want to make the best out of it or just allow others' opinion to bring you down. Being yourself is the best thing ever, its a form of beauty. You can just act, talk, do things that freely express who you are. Because you are who you are and there is only one "you" in this world, even if you have a twin. So what if the you have flaws? So what if you couldn't hit others' expectations? The "you" who you truly are is the one I like best. Its a gift of being special. A true friends accept you the way you are. The things you can do because you are you. And the things you can't do because do because you are you. One day, the someone just for you will come to love you just the way you are. So just be yourself.
People who sees you the way they want and try to control you to become the best and perfect like your parents may tend to bring you down. You might even come to harshly blame yourself for your failures. But you are just you, there are bound to be things that you can't do and flaws that you possesess. If they can't accept you the way you are. Then to me, I will treat it as a loss because they can't see what a gem you are.
Especially when you think of yourself worst too. Everyone is a Kaleidoscope, you can only see your imperfection on the surface but it takes another person to see the jewels and colours that exist within you.
Everyone is special cause you are a gift from God or if you don't believe in God, you are a gift of life. So treasure it. ^^

A plea

Haven't I tried my best, I try hard...For you. I know its not enough to you, but don't you know? It hurts..it hurts. To be compared to other people?Who done better than me. I am not them. I am me. I am who I am, I am not who you want me to be. I can't be the perfect child you want. That child you want exist in other people, not me. I can only be me, the me who has flaws, just like you, not that you will ever admit it cause you think yourself flawless. I am the one whose studies is average, and no matter how hard I try or ask ppl for help, I still can't get it. I keep trying, even though my attempts keep failing, but I still try my hardest. I tried. And I don't intend to give up or let you bring me down. I have tried and I am only going to try for my sake, if you want a perfect child who score A's or obey all your demand, then all I can say is, that the child you want does not exist in me.

Sick

Today. I dun feel good. I hate this feeling. Hate is a very strong type of dislike. If only there was a truth mirror that shows a person's true personality. I dun like it. I dun like the fact that good people aren't happy. They should just continue their happy lives and stop being wrap up in other people's life, worrying and caring about them.
I also hate it when good people get taken advantage of. Its disgusting. How could they? They are such good people. I feel like puking now. It is reallly sickening.

They should just stay in their happy world, caring about themselves rather than putting others before themselves. Just be happy. And take more care of yourself.

Stop Smiling, I will be here with you to cry

               Don't smile like this anymore.

           It breaks my heart to see you like this.

               You are crying so hard inside,

                    yet like an idiot.

         You still care for others more than yourself.

          You who is more fragile than anyone I know,

  like a greenhouse flower who needs so much care and protection.

    I can see you breaking into pieces and dying a bit by bit.

    When all you want to do is let all this feelings run free,

              you hide it all with a smile.

        You hold all the burden on your shoulders,

             refusing to let others share it.

            Your heart so delicate and frail,

           that it make me want to protect you.

                Let me be there for you.

                Let me take care of me.

      Its okay to cry. I will be here to hold you until you are done.

         I will take care of you. I will protect your everything,

             most of all, that most precious smile of yours.

Remember When

I am floating, trying to find a place to land. I am looking for my other half who will be able to give me what I want. I am trying to find my dream, but like the air, it is there yet I can never seem to grasp it. I feel I am standing at the edge of a cliff, going in and out of sanity. Its like I have jump off the cliff, and while falling all the old, happy, sad, sorrowful, and precious memories are all rushing out for me to remember. The time I first cried when I was touched by kindness so warmth. The time when I used to belong to a once happy and complete family. The time when I was unwanted by everyone in school. The time when I was wronged but my mum refused to believe I was innocent. The time when I was so confused and lost at who I am truly am. The fist time I fell in love with someone. All these feelings. And mixed emotions.Its like the fall was never ending. I keep falling an falling, recalling everything.....I just want to land. But it is very Hard. I can't find a place to belonged. I am a very very lost person. And I feel like I am losing my sanity.

Of course I wished I can go back to those times, but I can't turned back time. And now reality forces me out of reality. I keep falling down, being shove here and there, forced to grow up. This emptiness and loneliness is slowly but surely devouring me.....

Your Words

Your Words are like poison, spitting onto me.
Every time the goldfish mouth of yours opens and closes,
nothing good ever comes out of it.

You enjoy watching me cry,
You love stepping onto me
then tear me in pieces.

First, you swallow me,
then you spit me out.
You would prefer eating rubbish,
rather than me.

To your eyes, I am a bother.
It was better for you if I wasn't born.
Nothing I do is ever good enough for you.

Everything I do is always wrong,
whatever you say is always right.
You are flawless,
while I am forever imperfect.

It hurts me so bad,
but you can't see,
you couldn't even care less.

Words were just words to you,
but you couldn't see the wounds you were causing.
Scaring me over again and again,
I don't know when can I ever heal.

To you, I am worthless.
To you, I am a waste of space and time.
I try really hard , really really hard,
but it is never good enough for you.

I don't know what to do anymore,
can you teach me?
It is very painful.

I don't know how to tell you,
you don't even want to listen.
You can't understand.

I miss the times when we were still a happy family,
but that was years ago, and time can't be turned back.
I am just going to forever stay as a failure to your eyes.

All I have to say is now,
I am tired of trying to wait for you to notice me.
I am tired of trying to make some sense go into you.
I am tired of wanting to make you acknowledge me.

I am tired of trying to make you SEE.
I am tired of trying to make you understand.
I am tired of your disappointed face, your ever present frown
I am just so so so tired of wanting you to love me-the correct way.

I am sick of it.
I realise since nothing is ever going to work.
Then its time to stop trying to be everything you want me to be.
Because I am who I am, not who you want me to be.

I will forever hate you as much as I love you.
             But it is time to let go,
I need to stop letting you hurt me however you like.
Because I need love that you can never give.

I need time,
to heal,
to learn how to forgive myself,
to lean how to love myself,
and most of all, to let go and totally give up on you. (Sad Smile)