I am only human.

Is it damn fun? Just cause I am a foolish weak human that tries so hard even though the fall hurt hurt so bad? But I am already trying. I am trying so hard each time. I really hate everyone and every damn thing for making my life so difficult! But actually I hate myself the most, I really tried so hard. But it seems like all my effort were for nothing. Its like I am better off without trying in the first place, why? Because my best isn't good enough for the world, the world needs something better than best. Reality is just not within my reach. It made my effort appeared so worthless and my attempts so useless. Reality must be damn happy seeing me cry and lose like this.  Damn it!I hate myself so much, I wished I was dead.Why is it I tried so hard with everything and it just keeps failing? Did I not try hard enough? Where did it go wrong? I am just a girl trying to find a place in this world. I know that there are many other people out there like me but still... it is damn tiring.....

Its okay even if I'm hurt

I love you that's why it is okay. I don't care if the whole world scorned at me. I don't care if everyone leave me. Its okay as long as I have you by my side. You can call me crazy. Other people can call me blind. But when can I do when I already so in love with you? Love is a foolish thing, they may said in disgust. But how do they can they even judge me when they don't know how I feel? Its okay if I never were to see you again. Its okay if you push me aside. Because what can I do when I am so in love with you? Let just say that I am willing to wait forever just to be your side. Crying endless streams of tears cause I love you so much. Missing you so much yet you don't know my heart. But that is fine. Why so foolish? Other people ask.  Why? because I am in love with you. so even if it hurts, I will still love you

Life journey

We are just human. To want to feel needed by people and need people is perfectly normal. Human are just weak people after all. To want to love and be loved is just another human nature. So treat people kindly. Some people may seem cruel and strict but maybe deep inside they long for someone to care. Expect they are too scared to take the chance so they prefer to hide within their hardened shell so as to protect their fragile hearts. Human wants someone to be there for them through anything and some wants to be there for other people too. The constant competition amongst human, not wanting to be left out, not wanting to lose. So much that some would let anixety take over, in turn breaking all the rules despite knowing that it is wrong. At the end of the race, those strong hearted ones make it through while the weak hearted who give in to temptation and greed loses. Thats the law in human nature to maintain the balance.Its okay to be scared. Its okay to feel weak. As you move on in life or go along your journey, you will find yourself scars makes you stronger for life. More courageous than before, as each drop of it is collected through experience. And more intelligent and more skill than before.  (So good luck with your journey in life. =P)

Embracing Death

One Step.Water gently splashing against my feet. Another step, as the waves slwing beckon me deeper and deeper into the lake. Moving one step by one step, enjoying the serenity in this peaceful and quiet surrouding. The sunrays seeped through the gap between the canopy layer, lighting up the scenery, desparately wanting me to see the ugly truth to that mysterious lake that is luring me closer and closer to its death trap. Smiling sadly to myself, the warning was but in ain. All along I already the true colours of the lake but I couldn't care less. My lace white dress now soaked, start floating around in the waters. The swishing waves start urging me forward, deeper and deeper into the waters. The raging wind start blowing against, warning me so urgently of the dangers ahead, wanting me to stop before it is too late. But alas, there is already no turning back for me, the cold made me numb on the outside while I am all hollow inside. Subconsicous of my surrounding, I contiune to move forward despite already being waist deep in the lake. Translucent white clothes, wet and clinging to my body. Sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss, I closed my eyes, I embrace death while letting the water swallow me whole. 

Everyone, just don't grow up.

Just needing 1 look through pictures to realise how faraway a once very close friend was, mixed feelings, mostly saddness emerged. From a daily meeting to a once every 3 month sms, shows how wide the distant have become. Once two heart entwined together, now so far apart that each others' voices can't be heard. Time bulit new relationship yet tears old ones. What that was once thought would last Forever yet through harsh reality to only realise that forever was too good to be true. Time is harsh, fast ticking on the good times and reality kicks in only when everything is lost. Growing up means changing. Changing is constant and on-going. How? Not wanting people to change in hope of not losing them yet reality forces you to bend and flow with them no matter how much u don't want to. Change is scary, things become different, everything and everybody become different until you don't know who you are and you feel so unsure if you once was so close to them that u know them by the back of your hand, yet all reduced to awkardness and uneasiness. Missing each other so much yet not knowing what to say. Feeling so happy to see them yet feeling so uneasy at the new them you are facing, even though never a day went without you not missing them, never a day went without a flashback of the fond mermories you have once spend with them. Feeling so happy yet not knowing how the other party feel likes. Just feeling so lost in the mist of everything. If only everybody don't grow up..... but alas...that could only be a midsummer dream.