Waling dead

I want to close my eyes.
Pretend that I am anywhere else but here..
I am trying to reach somewhere
to touch the sky

But the journey is so tough.
The sky is so high up
I feel like I am treading a path of thorns
feet bleeding and all worn out

Yet I feel I am neither her nor there
its like the ground open up and swallow me
into the ever ending darkness
sinking deeper and deeper

Can't breathe
Can't cry
Can't scream for help
Don't know who to call out to

My shell of a body feels so exhausted
too tired to continue moving
My soul, nothing but drained spirit
This must be how its like to be a walking dead

Is this what life boils down to?
Its sad. What and where is the future we are working so hard for?
I can't see tomorrow. I can't see the light.
All I know is, I am tired.

I don't want to walk on already.
This isn't what I want.
This isn't how life is suppose to be.
I am just going to leave it all behind in a dream

Internship

Gulp....3 months.

I will be going to Cambodia for 3 months. Its not official or confirmed yet, but honestly speaking, despite being scared and all, I still want to go. ><

Even though I am going with another 2 classmates into another strange and unfamiliar place, but I still want to try. I want to check how independent I really can be and how I can survived there without my family.

At the same time, I can experience what my dad feel while working overseas for so many years. 3 months will definitely be nothing compared to the years he went through but at least I could have a glimpse of it.

In another few weeks, I will be flying off. :P The days kinda fly by. Well, just trying to finish off these 2 heavy modules. I got a lot of other things to do though but I am too hooked on the computer to do it.

3 months. What do you pack and how much?

Instant noodles? But I prefer the cooking kind.
Confirm taking my "pillow" and blanket there.
Clothes.....how much do you pack? 7 set?
ermmmmm....what else?
My sketchbook and stationery.
Lets see...medication. :/
Laptop? Still considering...
I don't know what else.
ps: Can i smuggle my friends along? XD 

Its super weird! I forward pack too much things in my school bag, end up it is so heavy! =_=... But if I travel to other country for a week or 2, one bag is sufficient for my things. I always take bare necessities....hmmm....wish me best of luck! :D ^^

Back to studies

I guess I am tired. Of the daily routine that never seem to end.

You either get bored to tears, lying on the bed stoning.
Or you stayed up the whole night rushing work, cursing and swearing.

Constantly pushing yourself to beyond maximum,
trying to be better, trying to aim somewhere,
which is like dunno where.
Beyond average, I guess

Okay.....Whacked up system here!
Work becoming more important than health.
People keep telling nonsense like,
"you just need to manage your time properly"

@@##$^&^^^*)%_$2$@$
Would be so kind to tell me how is that possible?
If only 1 person out of 72 in class can do it,
shouldn't that people start thinking if this system is actually suitable?!

Don't just say pretty words like confirm can.
Confirm can? CAN! You do 1st, then show me :)
Stupid adults.

True. I am complaining. Yes, I admit I sound childish, no life and watever. To those who have negative comments, WATEVER, I wasn't born to please you. >:P
I guess I am fed up. Not just me. I know a lot of people out there are fed up too. Ask me what is the craziest thing I have done so far? Nothing. I don't know anything beyond working hard for whatever my future plan is. My life is limited behing this 4 walls to this screen in front me.

.............................................................................Whatever..........Back to studying..............................

Being weight conscious

Okay, I hate the extra fats that are building up at my stomach and upper legs.

It disgusting. I keep telling myself to exercise which I am obviously not doing.
But I am definitely not the kind of girl who skip meals just cause I am getting fat. I feel that 3 meals are super important! Especially breakfast and lunch. Lucky thing, I took this food and nutrition class and understand the importance of dieting. (FYI, going on a "diet" does not mean cutting down on your meals. Diet means a balanced and nutritious meal.)

I love eating. So I am not going to do stupid stuff like eat less cause you might lose weigh but you will gain back twice the amount. And whats the point if it is going to make me tired and think about food all day? Slimming pills and medicine are......not my cup of tea. I have this medical condition which requires me to take quite a bit of medication in all kinds of form whenever I am sick. So naturally, I hate pills and all those stuff. They usually make me feel sicker that I already am.

Your 3 meals are important, don't bother cheating. Your body is smarter than you think. But everybody's body is different, some eat 3 meals a day like me, while others eat divide it into 6 meals a day as they have small appetite. Some people have high metabolism, those are the people who no matter how much they eat still stay the same.

So what may work for you might not be the same for others as everybody is different.

I do cut down on food but in a good way. Like anything other than my 3 meals are unnecessary like tea-break,snacking and supper.
I usually eat the most for lunch to get me going through the day. :) Breakfast is a must for me as I can't really function or think on an empty stomach. Having gastric or stomach ache is the last thing you need on an early morning to work or school

Tips

1. Eat protein-rich food for breakfast. 2 eggs are usually the recommended breakfast in keeping you full and energized for the day. Milk and cheese are good too. Oats may be healthy but not that effective
2. Eat fruits before a meal. It is nutritious and helps you not to eat too much for a meal.
3. Use a smaller plate when you are eating outside, as you will be tempted to fill up the whole plate
4. Eat more home-cooked food. That way you can cut down the seasoning and use a healthier cooking method.
5. Cut down on eating out with people. You tend to eat more in a crowd
6. Best way is still excising 3 times a day for half an hour. (I am trying to skip 200 times a day)

Yup, best way is still excising. So cut down computer time and go grab a friend or your ipod and start moving. :) The best exercise is swimming though. best time to exercise is actually evening, but I love morning the most, they are my favourite part of the day. I can never stop admiring the views in the morning, they are the loveliest thing ever. :)

My goal is to cut down 6 kg. Actually more of the fats that are gathering at the lower part of my body. They are seriously an eyesore.....Urg.....good luck, me. I will start...soon. 

Wish list

The things that I want

• Sewing machine (Should I get one??)
• I want to go online shopping!!!! :D Just for the experience
• Go USS
• Go Venice again! ^^
• The mug with a spoon slotted in the handle
• The pastel yellow top? (I just want a garment that is pastel yellow)
• I want to have a picnic!!! :D (Little stick of hotdogs, sandwiches...etc)
• Go shopping and buy at least 5 garments?
• Play games with my friends just like back in sec school
• I want the "Twister" game! :) Good fun and exercise! ^^
• I want to do something that is crazy and daring! (So that my life don't look dull, maybe cliff diving, flying fox, sailing down the waterfall?)
• I wanna go night viewing of fireflies again (below expectations but no words can describe the night view)
• Camp out! (What an adventure! In the western countries)
• Fly (I never stop dreaming about it)
• Being the happiest person in the world :D or at least be happy :)