Self struggle

I want to pretend everything is okay. I want to pretend for a while that I am strong.

I know I can be strong but I can't help feeling vunervable in this storm

I know I can do it if I believe but so many doubts and judgements constantly attack me

I want to face this storm but I feel like a warrior fighting without amour

I just want to close my eyes, scream and runaway, hide into my fantasy glass world

But reality and problems will often cruelly claw me back

Thorns of roses cruelly blinded my eyes but it doesn't stop making me want roses

Like a drug I can't get away from, I am sick of this weak, pathetic self

Now I only feel like collasping and sleep away.....

I want to become stronger as a person

I want to become better as a person

I am constatly trying to improve myself everyday

I am putting and trying my best everyday

I know that I can do it

I can become a person I can be proud of

I can be a strong person that I want to

and I can stop being so weak,

stop feeling so helpless

stop acting so patethic



I want to believe. Believe that I always have it in me. I can do anything I want. I can. I Can. I CAN!

 I want to believe. I need to believe. I have to believe.