Two hearts

Why is it that two hearts want to love each other yet its so hard?
Why is it that the more you love someone, the more painful it is?
Why is it that love is only sweet till you discover it love?
Why is it that the more you want to love a person, the harder it it?

I want to be more selfish but I don't want me to be a burden to you.
I want to be more sane but because of you, my sanity is hanging at a balance.
I want to be assured but why is it that I am constantly worrying about you?
I want to be....I just want to be...free from all this...

If I can run, I would run far far away...
but who am I kidding? I know that there is nowhere else I want to be other than your side
Even if it hurts, I know that I never regret the decision I made
because even if it hurts, I never felt more than happy than being with you

Two hearts...red string...cupid arrows....
"Love" turning us into fools so easily like this
It just make it so hard to understand..
sweet estacy mixed with bitter hard pain

Despite it being so painful,
some of us still yearn after it
because of our lonely hearts that just want to be loved
But others lock themselves up
due to the heartbreak and pain

Which is a better way, I don't know at all....
Lonely hearts that just want to be love
but  are afraid to love

In everything in life, if you don't take chances, then you will never be able to achieve or get anything.
Yes, it may hurt. Yes, I can't guarantee that every story have an happy ending. But are you sure you are better off lonely and sad? Weren't you not happy when in love, the bittersweet feeling that you experience. So even if it hurts a little too much, love again. If not that person meant for you, it wouldn't be fair to that person too..that person would end up being lonely too...

* Humans cannot mature or grow by themselves
  its only when they meet another person
  another special person that can open and unlock their heart
  then their world can set off moving again.

Me. Where did I go?

So choked with pain, anger and hate,
that I have totally forgotten about myself.
All I could was about you
and how you were ruining my life

That I forgotten about me
the me who was crying inside.
I hated you
but it only cause me to hate myself more

Yes, You hurt me with your words and with your hands
but the thing was, I was the one letting you get into me
Caught up with my own grief and anger
I was slowly becoming like you

The me inside was so scared...
she was crying so hard.....but I didn't hear
I locked her up and buried her deep in my heart
She could only watch...watch me hurt myself even more..

She was crying so hard
crying so break that her heart...
the precious heart that she was holding
nearly broke into two...

Until one day...
when I got so tired...
so tired of feeling frustrated...
so tired of hating someone...
so tired of the pain and hurt...
just so tired..

then I finally heard..
that silent tapping..and I found me..
the me who I lock away...
because...I couldn't face myself..
because I wanted to hate someone so bad

So I let go of myself
and completely forgotten..
I am me...that person is that person..
I can't stop the pain she inflict on me..
but I can prevent myself to turning into someone like that person

I can be better than that!
So I am setting myself free.

Fate

All of us met together for a reason.

Lonely hearts that attracted one another

that became not lonely and alone anymore

but together as one

All the hurt that we hid it in our tiny fragile bodies

we embrace each others' one

without word

without judgement

All of us just wanted someone to care

then we each came along

bringing joy and colours

to each of our dark lifes

All of our scars 

All of our flaws

only shown and seen by one other

because we accept each other just like that

Because of you all

I find a reason to live

Because of us 

you found a reason to live

Not lonely anymore

not cold anymore

not so heartbroken as before

not so meaningless as before

This is Fate

the reason that we meet

the reason that we are able to smile now

the reason some of us are still here today

Each of us are precious to another's life

as insignificant as we ourselves may think we are

lonely hearts that attracted one another

not lonely anymore.....

Miss you guys lots and lots.....:) You are all special and unique to me as crazy as you might be. ;p

You. Everything is all about you.

You just keep talking. Never stopping. Not bothering about other people's feeling. Not caring about me.

All you talked about is about your sacrifices. But have you even give a thought about us? 

Seriously, I don't know what to say anymore.

My words just go unheard

At this rate, everyone will leave you and I will go too.

I just want you to wake up and see

the hurt you are causing.

All you thought was about yourself

all you can see is your pain and suffering.

Oblivious to other things. Our feelings

I just want to break away and be free.

Away. Far far away

I look towards the sky and I want to fly.
Away from this pain, away from this hurt.
I don't want to be hurt anymore.
I don't want to break down anymore.

Do you know how hard it is to get back on my feet every time I fall?
Do you know how hard I try to be everything you want?
Do you know how hard I am trying to make you smile?
Do you know?

Why is it that you got eyes, yet you can't see the effort I put in?
Why is it that you got ears, but you just wouldn't listen to me?
Why is it that you got mouth, and all that comes out is just insults?
Why is it that you got hand, but all you know is to use violence with it?

I want to fly. But I can't anymore.
Caged by pain and misery,
Darkness is all I see.
Hope is all I have
and faith to keep me living.

If I can.... I want to disappear
Disappear from this world where only sadness, anger, pain, misery exist
Disappear to a place full of smiles, laughter and joy.
I want to go. Far far away....
Where you can't find me. Where hurt can't reach me.

I keep believing. I keep dreaming. I keep waiting. I keep wishing....
that one day, you would wake up and realise and finally see
the hurt you are causing, the pain you giving, the sadness and misery
You would say sorry and we would start afresh, happy once again.
But I know, very well, deep in my heart...its nothing but a faraway dream../

Hey, I need a hug

Hey, I need a hug.
There is this coldness surrounding me
that I cannot shake off
which only human warmth could take away.

Hey, I need a smile.
There is this constant dark cloud
that hangs around my head
Only a smile may make me feel better

Hey, I need a listening ear
There is this overwhelming sadness, pain and anger
that keeps weighing me down
Which only a listening ear can take it off

Hey, I need a laugh
So used to being miserable
and unhappy that I forgotten what joy is
Can you help me to remember?

Hey, I need your shoulder
All this problems and trials hurled at me non-stop
that sometimes I feel so beaten down
a shoulder to cry on would be nice.

Hey, I need you
to be there for me no matter what
to be my light when I get lost
to be my refuge when I need escape
to be my helping hand when I am about to give up
to be my strength that keeps me going

I am going to keep relying on you. I can be there for you when you need me. But can you?

Reaching Hands

Sleeping peacefully in my own glass world... eye lids slowly fluttering open and I suddenly woke up... Someone was making ripples in at the surface of my glass world. My messy ebony black hair falling off my face with my translucent white dress trailing behind me.

I look up...and I saw you... You were floating above in my sea of tears and knocking on my glass wall. Smiling that beautiful smile of yours, seeing you, I ran away. Yes, I run away...I hid deeper down my glass world and build up stronger defences.. While couching at one corner, trying to sleep. But my heart as thumping so quickly that I can't sleep... Cheeks flushed, I sneak a peek to check if you were there

It seems that you were more determine than ever to break into my glass world..

I could only smile sadly at your effort..Because I don't intend to open my heart to anyone... So I just curled into a ball and slowly drifted into my dreams..

   Its this dream again...I am on top of the sea, and I am swinging all alone. Not even a soul in sight, suddenly the swing disappears and I end up staring at my reflection..A reflection that I hate.. Hands clutching onto the water. All of the sudden, the black water open up and swallow me. I struggled, trying to fight off the overpowering water. I tried to grabbed something..anything,,but there was no one or anything in sight. I tried screaming for help but the water end up choking me. I keep fighting but it seems that the more I struggle, the more overpowering the water become. Then, I give up.....
...I couldn't fight anymore. All the futile struggle made me weak and after choking the water, I feel groggy and weak all over...Slowly...I get drowned deeper and deeper into the black abyss..(I hate this dream...I try waking up from it..but its so hard...Its like I am really in my dream, I just slowly feel so choked and scared...But there is nobody to help me...I feel so scared...Tears struck at my throat.. and there is this constant voice that keeps saying you can't do it...and I feel so helpless)...I can't do it....I want to try..I really want..but my arms and legs feel like lead...its hurts...and I am slowly slipping into unconsciousness..I am too weak..I don't think I can fight anymore

Thats why I hate this dream...this loneliness..this weakness...this constant voice...everything.it made me seem so weak..so....useless..so helpless..I hate it...

Hm? I feel some something...Something in the waters...

How is that possible? There is suppose to be nothing!No one! Oh my gosh! How?!What if it is something worse? Like a monster fish or something? MOVE!!!Stupid arms and legs!Move! Panic raising like a bile in my system and spreading across... Move!!!Finally I could muster some energy in my arms and legs... But where do I swim to? I just kick forward...Shoots! I got to hurry! The movement is getting stronger! I need to move faster! Faster!!!! Forcing myself to swim despite feeling so tired and weigh down..I just try struggling but how? I am losing speed, shoots!!!I could feel the waves in the water getting stronger and stronger... Ahhh!!! I feel so scared...I end up swallowing more of the salty water..

Oh my GOsh!!!Its catching up with me...I gotta swim!!Faster!!Faster!!! 

It is catching up with me!!!Ahhh!!!Got to swim faster!!But I can't, I feel more and more tired...no!!I got to swim...but the waters feel so heavy..and I don't think I can do it..All of the sudden, something pulled my hand. "Harrr.." I gasped as the strong force pulled me to the surface and dragged me so easily from the never ending abyss...Water flowing down my body as I got hugged by this warm contact.

I feel something slapping my face. "Hey, Wake up! Wake up!"...My eye lids slowly drift open, and I saw you. I was in your arms, it felt so warm and you have this very worried look on your face. Then I realised how cold I was when I felt your warmth surrounding me. I shuddered as I have never felt another human contact for so long... Waking up as it dawned to me that you managed to enter my glass world! I quickly picked myself up and released myself from you but your hold was fixed on my arms. I tried struggling off your arms and only to come into contact with those eyes of yours. Those determined eyes of yours that says, "Trust me! I will keep you safe! I will never let you go...."  

Being with you

Why is it that liking a person is so hard?
Insecurity, anxiety and misery often come along with each other.
Why is it that even though you are right next to me
You still feel so far apart?

Why is it that when you show me concern and care,
it actually hurts me more than anything?
Why is it that even though we talk about anything and everything,
I still feel like I don't know you any better than I first met you?

Why do I constantly feel so insecure?
Why do I constantly feel so pained?
Why do I constantly feel so anxious?
Why? Can you tell me?

It feels like you only like me out of sympathy,
and its more painful than rejection.
Could anyone give me an answer?
Or could you just tell me already.

Stop playing with my heart.
Its not funny. Its hurts.
I want to laugh. To smile.
But I can't anymore.

Being weigh down by all these chains
Free me.
But since, you can't.
I shall do it,and get an answer for myself.

I know I sound pathetic...weak..
I hate myself for it
But I can truthfully tell you
I don't want it to end.

I still want to be friends with you
I still want to be with you.
I want this relationship to last.
I want you and I, to continue to be friends with each other.

Tap tap...Do you hear me?

Knock Knock, hey do you hear me? Tapping on your glass wall, Hey! Do you hear me? 

Looking through the glass globe, you are lying there.

So pale among the snow that are slowly covering you 

Walking around the street, I look through the shops.

However the people in there are all frozen also

in their own glass world. 

This world is cold. This world has no life. It is all so cold.

I kept running softly, tapping along each glass wall.

Quietly and gently

Not knowing exactly what to do

Am I suppose to let you sleep or stir you up?

Why is it you can't hear me?

hey....Hey....Heyy!

Wake up!!! Why are all of you all doing over there?

Looking so lifeless?

Looking so dead?

Hey! Wake up!!! Answer me!

HEY!!!! pounding so hard against all the glass walls

HEY!!! Wake up!!!! Can't you HEAR me?

I am calling you!

What are you all doing there?

Slowly getting devoured by the cold pure white snow

Looking like a beautiful dead corpse ready to become nothing but an empty shell

WAKE UP!!!!

Do you hear me?WAKE UP!!!I ORDER you! 

(Sodding).....wake up.....

I could only look at you slowly wasting away,

I could only look at you, my words dying away

I could only look at you getting beaten up worse and worse each day,

I could only look at you, thats all I could do...

My words can't reach you anymore

My voice can't be carry across to you anymore

I could only watch...

my hands bleeding, my voice breaking, my tears drying, my soul dying along with you....

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't do anything, I could only watch....

Cinderella Magic

Magic and happy endings

               to Me

Only happen in fairytales

       till I met YOU

Magic is fate

that let us meet each other

But 

Happy ending

is up to us to create

Cinderella was happy 

when her dream came true

beautiful gown and glass slipper

off to meet the prince

However mine was just

a strange connection that 

bring us together

despite not knowing each other before

Then she happily danced with her prince

till the clock strike twelve

All of the sudden,

everything disappear

We were  with each other 

just like that

so comfortably

then poof

Running so desperately 

when reality hits in

sadness and pain choked on to her

as her foot got hurt running barefooted

I know it will end

but...

it happen too fast

I couldn't even scream "no"

But the prince went to find her

she found her courage 

and took the chance

thus the happily ever after

So actually

Magic and fate 

can only help so much.

The ending will be up to you